The Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes gushfest continues on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show, on which Emperor Cruise talked up his big plans for Katie’s 30th birthday. ”I’ve been kind of surprising her throughout the week with things,” Cruise told Seacrest. 

Katie Holmes is 30?!? When the hell did that happen? In my mind she’s been 17 for the past decade. 

Little Joey Potter is all growns up.

This I love. 

Sassy Maggie Gyllenhaal (Have you seen her in Secretary? You must) and her equally awesome boyfriend, Peter Sarsgaard, will star together in the Broadway Revival of Anton Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya. 

The play is scheduled to begin in previews on January 17th and run until March. Tickets will probably cost you your child’s college education, but if you can spare it, I have no doubt the two of them are going to rock big time.

I feel like they’re going to have such a blast together. And then they get to go home and play with their 2 year old, Ramona. Family Bonding!

I’ve been suspecting for a while that there’s trouble in paradise between Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin. In fact, I’ve bet my friend Alissa that they will split by the end of 2010.

Consider the evidence:

1. First of all, they are never together. When you see them in pictures they’re always living it up with other people. 

2. Of late, Gwyneth has been pictured numerous times with a scowl on that pretty puss of hers. And she’s been spending a lot of time with Madonna, who just split from Guy Ritchie. Needing a shoulder to cry on?

3. This one’s the kicker. It’s a standard rule in Hollywood that when friends start giving sound bytes on the status of your marriage, it’s usually only a matter of time until the split is official.

Mario Batali, famous chef and Gwyn’s cohost on cooking show Spain…On The Road Again recently said in Ok! Magazine in response to rumors about their potential divorce:

“Not true. I see them all the time. I don’t think they’re having problems…If you meet their kids, their kids are cool. And their kids have the fascination with new and open-eyed experiences. They’re delightful. Which means they’re being taken care of at home by their parents. That’s the key. They’re really stay-at-home parents in a way that only rock stars and Academy Award winning actors can be. They’ve got a time to choose when they work, and they don’t have to work all the time.”

Notice he’s talking about the kids, not the parents. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire, people!

Alissa, dinner is totally on you.

Last night, Jennifer Aniston appeared at the premiere of her new film, Marley and Me, in a black Valentino minidress and with boyfriend John Mayer in tow.

Her feet look like The Hulk.

One of the hazards of marrying a younger woman? Violent Temper Tantrums.

Canadian singer Paul Anka recently had to have his head stapled together when his wife, Anna, 20 years his junior, threw ice at him during a fight.

The po-lice later cooked and booked Anna for domestic battery. 

Anka shrugged off the incident, saying, ”It was a stupid little event. It was nothing” .

Isn’t that the classic line of battered wives?

Full House star Jodie “Stephanie Tanner” Sweetin is telling everyone under the sun about her divorce from Cody Herpin, claiming he spent their marriage mooching off of her.

So sad. They seemed like such a wholesome couple.

If you want to make it big, dump Chris Klein! He’s a good luck charm for everyone but himself.

The American Pie was engaged to Katie Holmes before she married into the Cruise Machine and birthed the spawn of Emperor Xenu.

Now UsWeekly reports that his latest lady love, Ginnifer Goodwin, has moved on after finding success with roles in HBO’s Big Love and the upcoming He’s Just Not That Into You.

He must be chokin’ on all that dust.