Britney Spears has sold over half a million copies of Circus this week and topped the Billboard charts for the first time in five years. 

This is where the credits will start rolling in the movie they make about her life.

Pachiderms Enchained? Totally Apeshit!

The animal rights group has found a new target: Miss Britney Spears, who they claim features “captive” elephants in her new Circus video.

Using a touching metaphor, PETA says, “As Britney is such a victim of the paparazzi and always complaining and crying about how she hates to be held up in her guarded house and can’t feel free, she of all people should be able to relate to the horror that captive animals go through when they’re used for entertainment. Except Britney chooses to perform, and the lifestyle just comes with it. Animals are ripped away from their mothers at a young age, kept in chains, and prodded with electric shock devices to make them perform.”

Has anyone asked the elephants how they feel about it? I bet their friends are totally jealous they got to be in the video.

It’s a classic Hollywood story: Megastar Falls from Glory and Climbs Back to the Top.

And no one did with quite as much pizzazz as Miss Britney. Only a year ago, the 27-year-old was being fitted for a straightjacket after losing custody of her two sons (you know it’s bad when K-Fed comes off looking like an upstanding citizen). Now she’s back with a new album, Circus, a fiesty new video and a world tour coming up. 

It’s almost inspiring. 

Reports are swirling that Britney’s puppeteer/father, Jamie, is watching her every move so she doesn’t screw up the Big Comeback. I say, give the guy a break. His kid lost her shiz big time; you can’t blame him for being super-controlling. Besides, we’re in a recession; someone’s gotta bring in some cash!